I’m not perfect, actually far from it. Even when I have the best of days eating and exercise wise I still am far from it. Something that I struggled with when I first started this new lifestyle was how addicting it became. At first it was fun of course as anything is but once it became a chore I knew that it was time to take a break. First things first, no more counting those darn calories.
⇑Those numbers take away from actually enjoying the food
A few years of years ago I started losing weight, healthily of course at first, then fast forward a year and it had completely turned upside down. The sociable butterfly I once was had turned into an introvert who didn’t want to be around people unless that involved some sort of exercise. I stopped attending parties where I knew there would be alcohol which would lead to drunk binges. I would purposely leave early from events in order to eat alone. My family mealtimes were changed because of my new found eating habits. It WASN’T fun. So what was I lacking? BALANCE.
Balance is Key, or so I’ve found.
For me this word in the sense of my lifestyle choices is where I can still be that sociable human being that I want to be without the fear of binging on everything in sight. When I first started losing weight of course my calories I was taking in were lowered, causing a slight restriction of what my body needed and wanted. When attending events or social gatherings I was surrounded by food and like anyone I couldn’t fight the temptation. Since then I have realized that hey! it’s okay to go out with friends and eat a hamburger one in a while, or heck everyday if my body wants it. This is something that I struggle with each and every day. If I don’t eat enough during the day than at night I find myself eating the macros that I didn’t allow myself to have during the day.
Then there’s the whole MACRO situation which I am kind of on a fence about. I’ve tracked my eating in the past and it led to be becoming obsessive over every little particle that went inside my mouth. I do believe that tracking “your own” macros is a heck of a lot more efficient than counting calories that’s for sure, but for me personally I am attempting to just eat intuitively and to listen to what my body craves. If I want bread, I eat bread simple as that. My apparent macros are WAY lower than what I actually eat in a day and have I gained weight? Nope. That’s what makes me think that these so called calculations that we base our nutritional needs on, are not always spot on.
I know there are days when I’m hungrier than others, therefore I eat more. Sounds reasonable right? When counting calories and you crave more than what you’re “supposed” to have than you’re essentially restricting. DING DING. Not healthy. I can’t even imagine going back to that lifestyle where as soon as I ate something, directly entered it into myfitnesspal. That app is long gone and is never coming back.
What I have come to realize is that what my body needs is completely different than the person sitting next to me, or even the person I follow on instagram for instance. “Whats your macros” is a common question you’ll see on many posts. Who care’s what their macros are, because they certainly aren’t what yours are supposed to be! It’s not easy that’s for sure but if you truly listen to your own cravings you’ll eventually find a balance with eating and life in general.
So where am i today in terms of balance?
I’m not healed, nor will I ever be as I practically know the amount of calories in everything I eat from memory but that being said, I’ve learned to be okay with it. I indulge in the foods I want to and drink as many liquid calories as I want to. I enjoy carbs on a daily basis and actually just finished 3 glasses of delicious red wine with my host family over dinner. Yes I could have said no, but why when I like wine especially since they put on a special dinner just for me. We have to make sacrifices in life but they shouldn’t be determined because of our eating that’s for sure, at least in my own opinion that is.